Dating Odyssey

Posts Tagged ‘Relationships’

How To Get Over A Broken Relationship and Move On With Your Life

• Introduction
• Get Your Ex Out Of Your Life
• Get Rid Of Emotional Triggers
• Don’t Hook Up With Someone Else
• Conclusion

Introduction

Just imagine if there was a break up pill.

You could simply take a couple in the morning and forget all about the relationship which has just left you crying in the fetal position.

Unfortunately there is no break up pill which means we all have to learn how to get over someone the old fashioned way by giving it some time.

The good news is that while you are giving it some time, you can also be doing other things. These things may or may not help to speed the healing process, but at the very least they will help you find other things to occupy your thoughts instead of just thinking of the past pains of your break up.

Some of these things may sound odd or flat out wrong, but in most cases they’ve been proven to help people move on as quickly as possible.

If you’re experiencing a lot of pain, what have you got to lose?

Get Your Ex Out Of Your Life

This means that you should not communicate with them anymore.

Don’t call or text them and don’t drop by their place. You have to send them a clear signal that it’s over. This is for your own well being. If you continue to hang on to a dead relationship you will only prolong your pain.

Better to cut all ties so that you can heal more quickly.

This applies if they try to call you too.

If they were the one that broke it off, it can be pretty impossible to let the phone ring-out when you see that they are calling you, but if you do you’ll just be prolonging your own pain.

It’s unlikely that they are calling you to get back with you.

It’s far more likely that they are a little lonely and they figure you’re a sure thing so they’ll just call you up and use you to relieve their own fears and uncertainties.

Don’t allow them to use you and play around with your vulnerabilities! Let the phone ring-out!

Get Rid Of Emotional Triggers

This means to put away, or throw away anything around your house, car, or office that reminds you of your ex. No need to be neurotic here, just get rid of any items that are directly related to the relationship.

For example, you would get rid of any photos of your ex but you would not get rid of your car because the ex used to sit in the passenger side.

Again, you won’t be able to move on completely if you’re constantly being reminded of them and the good times you’ve shared. Some day you may be able to look back on this relationship and remember the good times, but for now you’ll want to forget as much as you can so you can move on.

Don’t Hook Up With Someone Else

This is a little tough, but you must understand that there’s going to be lonely times ahead. If you can gear yourself up for it you may have a little easier time getting through the lonely times when they come along.

Do not hook up with someone else to help you feel better.

Hooking up with someone else just so you can feel better is being dishonest with yourself and the other person because you will be positioning yourself to be hurt again, and you may also hurt the other person.

This is a sad thing to do indeed.

Many people seem to have the idea that because they were hurt it’s okay to go out and hurt someone else. This is actually a sign of spiritual and emotional disease which can be traced back to low self-esteem issues.

You have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror every day, and if you act like that it won’t be easy.

Just remember that the person who hurt you is gone and the next person that comes along has nothing to do with your emotional issues.

You are now responsible for your emotional pains. The event is over. The only thing causing your pain today is you choosing to re-feel the past.

Be a kind, decent human being, and if nothing else you can always know that you acted decently.

Conclusion

You are responsible for your thoughts, feelings and actions.

Responsible means that you are able to respond to any situation by choosing what to think. It’s not what happens to us, it’s how we choose to react to what happens to us.

Reading The Desiderata Poem daily will help you get your mind off your ex and move on with your life.

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• Top 3 Reasons Why Men Dump Women
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Some Dating Advice For Men Who Need Some Space

So you’re over 40 and want to get back into dating again. Dating can be tricky at any age but it’s especially hard it you haven’t done it for a long time.

Everything can become much easier, though, if you understand some basic concepts about women. Use the following dating advice for men from women to your advantage.

Your Lifestyle Patterns

A lot of men that get back into dating have been set in their own lifestyle patterns for a while and find it a bit overwhelming to bring a new person into their routine (or to adjust their routine to fit this new person).

Some men are very eager to make their new girlfriends or dates happy and initially try to bend over backwards for them. This may include giving up certain hobbies or time by themselves watching a football game on TV. This could be okay for a little while, but eventually you can become resentful of these missed events.

Setting Boundaries

If the new woman in your life is starting to demand more and more of your time and it makes you uncomfortable, you will need to set some boundaries, but you need to do it the right way if you want to keep her.

This Is Important So Pay Attention – Here’s What Not To Say

Things are moving a little too fast for me and I need some time by myself. But please don’t say that because she will probably take that the wrong way.

While this might not seem to be a rejection in your eyes, your new girl will definitely see it as that. She will most probably take this very personally and either cling to you even more or just back off and start over-analyzing what you said over and over.

Women are very sensitive and have a natural tendency to over-analyze everything. She will no longer be comfortable around you and you will probably feel awkward as well.

Some say that the right way to get more time to yourself is to tell her that you want to work on a couple of things to make your relationship better. And that includes taking a little time for yourself because that is very important to you.

Keep It Simple

If you have stuff to do which does not include her, just do it.

Don’t be an emotional cripple by giving up going to the gym or your other sports and fitness activities just to sit in front of the TV with her.

You are not less loving by doing stuff by yourself, but remember to keep a healthy balance and share your time with her as well.

This healthy balance will be defined by the specific relationship you are in and the number of activities you feel you need to do on your own. Remember you are to adjust your lifestyle to include her, and you are not to expect that the relationship revolves around you.

Remember that women can turn very many comments into rejection in their heads. Something that you could say to another guy could be forgotten after two minutes. That same comment will not leave a woman’s head and it will be turned around over and over again. So keep that in mind.

Summary

If you’re feeling like things are moving too fast and you don’t have your own space, all you need to do is simply go ahead and do the things you need to do. Go to the gym if that’s what you need to do.

The key is to be yourself from the beginning so she knows what to expect in the future. If you are not doing this, you are being dishonest in the relationship and possibly wasting both your time and hers.

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No one likes to be rejected.

This is especially true for women. One form of rejection is being dumped by the person whom you really love or are in a relationship with.

Being dumped is never fun. It can be the source of a great deal of pain, confusion, anger, and hurt.

A Long Time Ago

There was a time when women were the ones who did the vast majority of dumping. However, this certainly isn’t true anymore. Men, increasingly, are dumping women.

As a woman, who has been dumped, you may not fully understand the motives behind his actions. Men are not quite as complex as women, when it comes to these sorts of things.

This article was written to help you find some of the answers to the question of “why men dump women?”

Here Are The Top Three Reasons Why Men Dump Women

Lack of Communication

Communication is very important in every relationship. A lack of communication would definitely mean the end of a relationship. Hence, it is often cited as one of the top reasons of why men break up with the woman they are with.

Demanding and Controling

Another reason why women are dumped by men is because as time goes by, they become more and more demanding and controling

Women, Western women in particular, have a tendency to try and control anything and everything about the relationship, sometimes even the man himself.

They often will try to set rules and limits on their male counterpart. Women often will give the men a hard time about:

• Traveling to do his occupation.
• Not guessing/anticipating the woman’s needs and wants.
• Talking, or even looking at other women.
• Having female friends and associates.
• His Values and Beliefs.
• Hanging out with his friends.
• What they watch on T.V.
• Working late.

Some women will also engage in passive aggressive behaviours (such as silence and similar paybacks) if any of the above conditions are not to their liking.

Some men will tolerate this type of behavior. However, the ones that finally get fed up with it, and end it, usually cite this as a reason why they broke up.

Being Too Reliant On Men

There are times when women become too clingy, needy, and reliant on their man. Its okay for a woman to play up the damsel in distress routine once in a while. In fact, most men enjoy playing the role of hero.

Everybody, (both men and women) get needy and clingy, however, it can be taken too far and becomes quite annoying if done on a regular basis.

There is a difference between being needy sometimes and total emmotional dependence.

Most men want a woman who is independent, and can make decisions on her own.

Some women insist that the man spend every free minute of every free day with her. It is healthy for people in a relationship to have lives outside the relationship.

If the woman makes the man the center of her life and becomes too obsessed, it usually will be too much for the man.

Indeed, it is not only women who hold the power to dump men because men also have that power. These reasons are by no means conclusive. There are many reasons why men dump women.

The best thing you can do if you were dumped by a man, is to re-claim your power and realize that you are a wonderful loving human being regardless.

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The New Seniors

Today, more than ever, over sixty seniors are dating again.

As time continues to march forward, those over the age of sixty aren’t being left behind because 60 is not what it used to be a long time ago.

More seniors are keeping themselves in great shape, and advances in medicine and nutrition mean people are living longer and more healthy than ever. Senior citizens these days are more vital and vibrant than any of previous generations.

So what if you’re in the area of retirement age and you’re looking for a mate? Over sixty dating can be a lot of fun and a totally rewarding experience.

Relationship expert and Internet author Wendell K. Cribbs reminds us that no matter what our age, dating and relationships are important to a healthy mental attitude and a rewarding personal life.

We shouldn’t allow nervousness and fear to keep us from developing healthy intimate relationships despite our age. Many of the fears seniors face when it comes to over sixty dating are fears that simply exist in their own minds.

For people over sixty dating shouldn’t be something to be afraid of. explained. In fact, dating for seniors can be a very exciting and fun experience.

As we reach our senior years, many of the issues that face younger singles aren’t nearly as significant or don’t even exist at all.

Things like career, family, plans for children and the like simply aren’t as prominent. That means over sixty dating can be a lot more casual and a lot less restrictive with a lot less pressure. – Cribbs

Bob is a 66 year old retired office manager who enjoys the over sixty dating scene, but that wasn’t always the case for him.

I find dating at my age to be a lot more fun with a lot less pressure than when I was younger. Looking back on my life, I realize that I dated my wife exclusively for more than six years before we got married.

I remember that everything was just so serious for us at that time.

We had a great life together, and when she passed away, I felt like I may just hide in my apartment and never go out with anyone again.

That feeling lasted about six months, until some of my friends finally talked some sense into me. Then I just put aside all my fears and put myself out there. – Bob

Cribbs says Robert’s situation isn’t uncommon for those who are entering the over sixty dating scene for the first time.

Of course there is going to be a certain level of nervousness and trepidation when it comes to dating again.

Despite the fact that senior age people have a lot of life experience behind them, often they’ve spent literally dozens of years in a long-term relationship or marriage.

So seniors looking to re-establish a potential loving and fulfilling personal relationship shouldn’t be worried about entering the over sixty dating process.

No matter what your age, life is what you make of it.

Chemistry in relationships is not something that just happens. Plus you probably can’t create chemistry where none exists, but if that initial spark is there, there’s plenty you can do to fan the flames.

Understanding Love Chemistry

If you’ve never felt strong chemistry with another person, it can be hard to get an idea of what it is.

What most people call chemistry is a sense that the two of you are just meant to be together. You’re both perfectly at ease with each other and have a strong physical attraction for each other.

While it might have something to do with looks and pheromones, most of it is mental. It comes from you and your love partner having similar beliefs, thought patterns, ideals, and maybe even habits and pet peeves.

Developing Rapport

Before you can build up any chemistry, you need to have a good rapport first. If you’ve only seen each other for one or two dates, that rapport may not quite be there yet.

To create it, look for a conversation topic you can really bond over. Just make sure it’s something pleasant and low-stress, though.

You might discover that you both love discussing ways to end the global financial crisis, but that subject won’t help your partner associate you with pleasure and fun.

Start Laughing

Laughter is not only fun, it also makes us feel at ease with another person. You don’t have to be a professional comedian. Even an attempt at humor in your own style can work. Just keep it clean and neutral so you don’t offend your date in the beginning.

How Adrenaline Helps

Studies have shown that couples who met in an exciting situation (whether pleasurable or not) tend to find each other more attractive, more so than couples who met under normal circumstances.

This is because the mind associates excitement with the person we’re with at the time, and mistakes it for physical attraction.

Make use of this by planning a date that will get the adrenaline pumping like a scary movie, a rollercoaster ride, or even whitewater rafting.

Drop The Masks

There is no chemistry in love relationships with people who don’t know who you realy are – The Real You.

Instead of keeping your opinions to yourself in hopes of hiding anything your partner might not like about you, why not share your thoughts and feelings about important issues. Sometimes just a single comment can make your date fall-hard for you.

However, just because not revealing who you really are is dishonesty by omission, you should still play your cards right by not revealing too much too soon (Telling All).

Chemistry in relationships could be mysterious and hard to control, but that doesn’t mean you can’t help it along a little. Make sure you start with a good rapport, throw in a little humor and excitement and you’ll be off to a good start.

Finally, you should remember that you can’t make a silk handkerchief out of a pigs ear. So don’t go bending yourself into a pretzel if it’s not working out.

Related Articles

• Top 3 Reasons Why Men Dump Women
• Some Deep Love Relationship Advice
• Are You Really In Love Quizzes – Are They Accurate?
• The Benefits Laughter While Dating