Dating Odyssey

Posts Tagged ‘Be Yourself’

The Top 3 Get A Boyfriend Tactics That Really Work

• Introduction
• Be Yourself
• Don’t Give Too Many Compliments
• Contribute To The Conversation
• Conclusion

Introduction

If you are wondering what are the best tactics to get a boyfriend, the first thing you need to do is consider what you want acually want a boyfriend for.

Is that a stupid question? I think not.

The type of guy you go for will depend on your motives. For example:

• Do you want a boyfriend in order to esteem yourself in front of your peers?
• Do you want a boyfriend because you are seeking a life partner?
• Do you want a boyfriend for casual sex?
• Do you want a boyfriend for financial gain?

Frankly, you will do things differently if you are looking for Mr. Right than you might if you were just looking for Mr. Right Now.

While I don’t recommend lowering your standards ever, you may not worry too much if you’re just looking for someone to hang out with rather than a potential long term partner.

This article assumes that you’re looking for someone that may turn into a someone special.

It’s not that these tips can’t work for a more casual boyfriend, they can and do, it’s just that you shouldn’t use anything less than these tactics if your intention is for a relationship to go the distance.

Be Yourself

We keep hearing about this over and over again, but still people find it difficult to be themselves.

The main reason for this is low self-esteem and lack of knowledge about what this really means. All we can do here is to give some examples so that you know when you are not being yourself.

What you absolutely don’t want to do is pretend you are somebody other than who you really are.

For Example:

• Don’t say you like Chinese food if you don’t – That’s dishonest!
• Don’t say you like Bruce Lee movies if you don’t.
• Don’t say you like going to the drag races if you don’t.
• Don’t say you hate a certain music genre if you really love it.

Get the idea?

One point here is that you’ll never let him get to know the real you if you aren’t acting like the real you. What’s more, there’s nothing worse than getting involved with someone for a special romantic relationship and that person turns out to be somebody else!

The other most important point here is that if you do jag this guy into a long-term relationship by being dishonest, you will be positioning yourself for unhappiness due to the fact that you will not be able to keep a the false front forever.

The secret to being yourself is totally eliminating your approval seeking nature by developing high self-esteem.

Don’t Give Too Many Compliments

If you think he has a nice suit and tie, then tell him so, but don’t hang on his every word like you just met some famous movie star. It’s one thing to be attentive it’s quite another to be an emotionally crippled cling on. Be sincere in your praise and don’t overdo it.

Just remember that you are meeting just another human – an equal. If you have high self-esteem, you will know deep down that this is true.

Contribute To The Conversation

Don’t let him do all the talking. Contribute to the conversation.

If the man is happy spending the whole night talking about himself he may be too self absorbed to ever be a good match for you anyway. If he doesn’t like to do all the talking he’ll get bored if you don’t contribute to the conversation. Learn how to give and take in a conversation so that you can each get to know the other.

An excellent way to do this is to ask questions, wait for a response, then you say something about the topic.

Conclusion

The real truth here is that there aren’t really special skills to get a boyfriend. If you want a relationship built on attraction, mutual interests, and trust (which is the best way to make sure it will last) then just follow the tips above.

A relationship built on dishonesty will eventually fail. Increasing your self-esteem will greatly reduce the need to be dishonest because you will learn to like who you really are.

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A Few Dating Tips For Manly Men

Many of you believe you’ve got wise when it comes to dating women. However, that sort of position represents what may finish you up in the no-date district. Consider these dating tips and see how you stand.

Let Go

Firstly, if you’re a bloke who’s still trying to work out the other gender, take a pace back a little and let it go. Stop thinking so much and come back to this moment – Here Now.

Rather than trying so hard to work them out, try concentrating on you. You will do much better by trying to better yourself rather than trying to do certain things in order to appeal to women.

Begin With The Obvious

This could be the most popular dating tip for manly men but it really is essential. You actually ought to take care of yourself, appear fresh and healthy and feel that way.

Grooming

First of all, the impression you form is critical to your dating life. This implies trimming your brows, nose fuzz and ear hair every time you have a hair cut.

As for the hair on the top of your head, some chicks like it long and some prefer short. The crucial point is that it’s clean and groomed. Also, ensure that your nails and hands are clean because women will notice these things.

Clothing

What clothing to wear is an additional area that many men see as a bit of a challenge. Women love to see a sense of taste and style. Ensure that the clothing you wear on your dates are fresh and clean, wrinkle-free and fit properly.

Whenever you’re not sure what colors go together and what styles agree with you, go shopping and ask the sales assistants for an honest opinion.

Confidence

When you are comfortable with your outer appearance, you will see that you’ll start to feel good about yourself on the inside as well.

As your self esteem improves, you will see that women will become more attracted to you because women can detect men who are sure about themselves. Confidence (not over-confidence) is cornerstone in the dating world.

Feeling Good Yet?

So you’re looking the way you want to look and feeling great about yourself right? Now you’ll want to start setting some goals in terms of what you desire from a relationship.

Relationship Goals

As with anything, setting goals will get you wherever you want to be. Women are attracted to men who know what they want, not to those who are just wondering aimlessly.

Be Yourself

This is usually difficult, particularly if you’re only just coming back into dating and still trying to discover who you really are. However, you do have opinions and thoughts about certain subjects.

Quietly and clearly speak your opinions and don’t change them to go along with the woman you are dating.

For example, if you like Chinese food and she hates Chinese food, don’t be a wimp and say that you also don’t like Chinese Food. If you like Football, and she does not like football, don’t be dishonest and say you are not into it.

It’s Okay To Have Different Opinions

Remember, the two of you are not enemies if you have differences of opinion. To think that someone is your adversary just because they have a different opinion than you do is a sign of low self esteem.

If you discover that the pair of you have drastic differences in opinion and you argue about them, then this woman might not be the one for you. Do not pretend to change the way you feel. Simply march on, or agree to disagree.

To be yourself also means being honest and sincere about everything, even things you would prefer to lie about since they’d put you in a better light.

Enjoy Yourself

Dating beautiful women should be fun, so don’t be over-serious.

Don’t analyze and criticize your every thought, word and action and judge these things harshly. The best way to enjoy yourself is to simply be yourself rather than bending yourself into a pretzel in order to get women to like you.

Have fun by learning how to play the game.

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Some Dating Advice For Men Who Need Some Space

So you’re over 40 and want to get back into dating again. Dating can be tricky at any age but it’s especially hard it you haven’t done it for a long time.

Everything can become much easier, though, if you understand some basic concepts about women. Use the following dating advice for men from women to your advantage.

Your Lifestyle Patterns

A lot of men that get back into dating have been set in their own lifestyle patterns for a while and find it a bit overwhelming to bring a new person into their routine (or to adjust their routine to fit this new person).

Some men are very eager to make their new girlfriends or dates happy and initially try to bend over backwards for them. This may include giving up certain hobbies or time by themselves watching a football game on TV. This could be okay for a little while, but eventually you can become resentful of these missed events.

Setting Boundaries

If the new woman in your life is starting to demand more and more of your time and it makes you uncomfortable, you will need to set some boundaries, but you need to do it the right way if you want to keep her.

This Is Important So Pay Attention – Here’s What Not To Say

Things are moving a little too fast for me and I need some time by myself. But please don’t say that because she will probably take that the wrong way.

While this might not seem to be a rejection in your eyes, your new girl will definitely see it as that. She will most probably take this very personally and either cling to you even more or just back off and start over-analyzing what you said over and over.

Women are very sensitive and have a natural tendency to over-analyze everything. She will no longer be comfortable around you and you will probably feel awkward as well.

Some say that the right way to get more time to yourself is to tell her that you want to work on a couple of things to make your relationship better. And that includes taking a little time for yourself because that is very important to you.

Keep It Simple

If you have stuff to do which does not include her, just do it.

Don’t be an emotional cripple by giving up going to the gym or your other sports and fitness activities just to sit in front of the TV with her.

You are not less loving by doing stuff by yourself, but remember to keep a healthy balance and share your time with her as well.

This healthy balance will be defined by the specific relationship you are in and the number of activities you feel you need to do on your own. Remember you are to adjust your lifestyle to include her, and you are not to expect that the relationship revolves around you.

Remember that women can turn very many comments into rejection in their heads. Something that you could say to another guy could be forgotten after two minutes. That same comment will not leave a woman’s head and it will be turned around over and over again. So keep that in mind.

Summary

If you’re feeling like things are moving too fast and you don’t have your own space, all you need to do is simply go ahead and do the things you need to do. Go to the gym if that’s what you need to do.

The key is to be yourself from the beginning so she knows what to expect in the future. If you are not doing this, you are being dishonest in the relationship and possibly wasting both your time and hers.

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Got the first date jitters? Fear not, it’s natural. First dates tend to make all of us a bit jittery. We worry about things like bad breath, body odor, and whether or not our dress makes our bottom look big.

Negative Self talk

• Should i laugh at his jokes?
• Oh, no, how do I not giggle if he says something funny?
• Does my laugh sound totally stupid?
• Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut.

We tend to expect the guys we’re heading out with to know these things already, to know we’re feeling more than a little self-conscious, especially since it is our first date together.

Building Confidence

Oddly enough, we also know confidence feels synonymous with power, and the more confident we are, the less we need to worry about all those little things that tend to make us nervous about first dates.

If we are confident about who we are, there is no need to worry about what others think about us.

In order to help build a state of confidence about yourself and out of those horrid first date fidgets, I’ve put together five short, fear busting confidence boosters you can try before your next first night out.

The Top 5 Tips For Getting Rid Of First Date Jitters …

Relax In A Sweet Scented Bath

Boost your regular hygiene regimen by putting some sweet scents in the bath and having a nice relaxing soak. Indulge in a good long soak early enough on the night of your date to give the fragrance time to soak into your skin. Your body will carry the scent throughout the date.

Stop Worrying anout Your Clothes

Rather than worrying about your clothes, pick an outfit you feel comfortable in, one that makes you feel good about yourself, and whether or not your bottom looks fat will be the last thing on your mind.

Be Yourself

Don’t try to hamper or hinder your normal state. Just be yourself. If the guy you’re with doesn’t appreciate your originality, then he’s probably not the guy for you anyway. You want a man who will love you for who you are, not who you pretend to be when you’re with him, right? So always be who you are.

Express Your Needs

Have a chat before the date. If you have particular expectations about your upcoming date, it is your responsibility to tell him what those expectations are. For example, if you feel uncomfortable around crowds and prefer to dine in a more private setting, he needs to know this before he makes reservations.

Have Fun

First dates are in no way wedding ceremonies, so you aren’t being locked into a commitment for the rest of your life based on this one night out. Remember that, and just allow yourself to have a good time. You might enjoy yourself so much you’re tempted to repeat the experience!

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This is a brief dating etiquette outline for men and women.

Be Yourself

When you date, you want the other person to get to know you, so you shouldn’t try and be someone that you are not. This means you should drop your masks and be yourself.

Pretending to be something that you are not will be wasting both your time and theirs.

If you drop your guard and be yourself, you’ll have much more fun and at the same time increase the chances that your date will have fun too.

If you find that your date does not like who you really are, maybe you should move on and keep dating until you catch-on somewhere.

Dress Nice

When you go out on a date you should look and dress nice. This will show the other person you care about yourself because you care about your appearance.

Be A Gentleman

Depending on the woman you are taking out you should also remember to open the car doors and all doors for your date.

Some women however like to open their own doors so let them. Some women also like to pay for their own drinks and meals, so let them.

If you are not going on a date with an independent woman, then you should open the doors, be on time when you pick her up, and be prepared to pay for the entire date.

Don’t take your date somewhere you can’t afford, and never find yourself asking your date for money to cover the bill.

Don’t Be A Detective

While you should ask questions and display genuine interest in the other person, you should craft your questions in such a way as to not make them feel like they are being interrogated.

It is common for people on a date to ask too many of the wrong kind of questions by digging around in areas that are none of their business.

So tread with caution with your questions, else you’ll scare them off.

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Chemistry in relationships is not something that just happens. Plus you probably can’t create chemistry where none exists, but if that initial spark is there, there’s plenty you can do to fan the flames.

Understanding Love Chemistry

If you’ve never felt strong chemistry with another person, it can be hard to get an idea of what it is.

What most people call chemistry is a sense that the two of you are just meant to be together. You’re both perfectly at ease with each other and have a strong physical attraction for each other.

While it might have something to do with looks and pheromones, most of it is mental. It comes from you and your love partner having similar beliefs, thought patterns, ideals, and maybe even habits and pet peeves.

Developing Rapport

Before you can build up any chemistry, you need to have a good rapport first. If you’ve only seen each other for one or two dates, that rapport may not quite be there yet.

To create it, look for a conversation topic you can really bond over. Just make sure it’s something pleasant and low-stress, though.

You might discover that you both love discussing ways to end the global financial crisis, but that subject won’t help your partner associate you with pleasure and fun.

Start Laughing

Laughter is not only fun, it also makes us feel at ease with another person. You don’t have to be a professional comedian. Even an attempt at humor in your own style can work. Just keep it clean and neutral so you don’t offend your date in the beginning.

How Adrenaline Helps

Studies have shown that couples who met in an exciting situation (whether pleasurable or not) tend to find each other more attractive, more so than couples who met under normal circumstances.

This is because the mind associates excitement with the person we’re with at the time, and mistakes it for physical attraction.

Make use of this by planning a date that will get the adrenaline pumping like a scary movie, a rollercoaster ride, or even whitewater rafting.

Drop The Masks

There is no chemistry in love relationships with people who don’t know who you realy are – The Real You.

Instead of keeping your opinions to yourself in hopes of hiding anything your partner might not like about you, why not share your thoughts and feelings about important issues. Sometimes just a single comment can make your date fall-hard for you.

However, just because not revealing who you really are is dishonesty by omission, you should still play your cards right by not revealing too much too soon (Telling All).

Chemistry in relationships could be mysterious and hard to control, but that doesn’t mean you can’t help it along a little. Make sure you start with a good rapport, throw in a little humor and excitement and you’ll be off to a good start.

Finally, you should remember that you can’t make a silk handkerchief out of a pigs ear. So don’t go bending yourself into a pretzel if it’s not working out.

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