Dating Odyssey

The New Seniors

Today, more than ever, over sixty seniors are dating again.

As time continues to march forward, those over the age of sixty aren’t being left behind because 60 is not what it used to be a long time ago.

More seniors are keeping themselves in great shape, and advances in medicine and nutrition mean people are living longer and more healthy than ever. Senior citizens these days are more vital and vibrant than any of previous generations.

So what if you’re in the area of retirement age and you’re looking for a mate? Over sixty dating can be a lot of fun and a totally rewarding experience.

Relationship expert and Internet author Wendell K. Cribbs reminds us that no matter what our age, dating and relationships are important to a healthy mental attitude and a rewarding personal life.

We shouldn’t allow nervousness and fear to keep us from developing healthy intimate relationships despite our age. Many of the fears seniors face when it comes to over sixty dating are fears that simply exist in their own minds.

For people over sixty dating shouldn’t be something to be afraid of. explained. In fact, dating for seniors can be a very exciting and fun experience.

As we reach our senior years, many of the issues that face younger singles aren’t nearly as significant or don’t even exist at all.

Things like career, family, plans for children and the like simply aren’t as prominent. That means over sixty dating can be a lot more casual and a lot less restrictive with a lot less pressure. – Cribbs

Bob is a 66 year old retired office manager who enjoys the over sixty dating scene, but that wasn’t always the case for him.

I find dating at my age to be a lot more fun with a lot less pressure than when I was younger. Looking back on my life, I realize that I dated my wife exclusively for more than six years before we got married.

I remember that everything was just so serious for us at that time.

We had a great life together, and when she passed away, I felt like I may just hide in my apartment and never go out with anyone again.

That feeling lasted about six months, until some of my friends finally talked some sense into me. Then I just put aside all my fears and put myself out there. – Bob

Cribbs says Robert’s situation isn’t uncommon for those who are entering the over sixty dating scene for the first time.

Of course there is going to be a certain level of nervousness and trepidation when it comes to dating again.

Despite the fact that senior age people have a lot of life experience behind them, often they’ve spent literally dozens of years in a long-term relationship or marriage.

So seniors looking to re-establish a potential loving and fulfilling personal relationship shouldn’t be worried about entering the over sixty dating process.

No matter what your age, life is what you make of it.

More Options Onine

Today, Online Dating is becomming a better option instead of going to pubs, clubs and dives in order to find someone special, or to hook-up with someone for casual sex.

You see, once you arrive at the pub, club or dive, your options are only limited to what is in the rooms on the night. Compare this to browsing thousands of profiles at an Online Dating website.

Online Dating Overview

There are many online dating websites on the Internet today. Most are free to join and browse profiles, but often there is a fee to access premium features.

If you are in a hurry, these premium features can be well worth it because you can get your profile listed higher in the results pages and therefore get more responses to your listing.

Both free and premium profile listings allow you to upload a picture and tell a little about yourself. Other people can browse your profile and see if your intentions match theirs. This is why you need to be clear and state exactly what you want in your profile listing.

Don’t be ashamed to state your intentions! For example, if you are looking for love, say so. If you are looking for casual sex, say so. Sometimes you can even find someone meaningful by hooking up for casual sex because you were both honest at the start.

Tip – Profiles with a picture get more views and therefore more responses!

Online dating has proven to be a successful method for meeting people and setting up dates. Many people have continued their relationships and even been married through online dating methods, while others use them as a way to hook-up for casual sex.

Obviously, all love relationships through online dating aren’t successful, but you may still meet some new friends to relieve those long lonely nights at home.

Safety

When you consider online dating, it is important to remember you need to be safe.

All people are not always honest in their profile. In fact, there are many blatant liars at Online Dating Websites who are dishonest about their intentions. However, this is no different than blatent liars at pubs, clubs and dives

You should be sure when you go on your first online date you are somewhere you feel comfortable with and be sure to protect yourself at all times.

You can have have a lot of fun meeting your perfect match, or hooking-up with someone, but don’t believe everything the other person said in their profile.

Online dating gives you more choices with more information about those choices faster than trying to get lucky at some pub, club or dive.

This is a brief dating etiquette outline for men and women.

Be Yourself

When you date, you want the other person to get to know you, so you shouldn’t try and be someone that you are not. This means you should drop your masks and be yourself.

Pretending to be something that you are not will be wasting both your time and theirs.

If you drop your guard and be yourself, you’ll have much more fun and at the same time increase the chances that your date will have fun too.

If you find that your date does not like who you really are, maybe you should move on and keep dating until you catch-on somewhere.

Dress Nice

When you go out on a date you should look and dress nice. This will show the other person you care about yourself because you care about your appearance.

Be A Gentleman

Depending on the woman you are taking out you should also remember to open the car doors and all doors for your date.

Some women however like to open their own doors so let them. Some women also like to pay for their own drinks and meals, so let them.

If you are not going on a date with an independent woman, then you should open the doors, be on time when you pick her up, and be prepared to pay for the entire date.

Don’t take your date somewhere you can’t afford, and never find yourself asking your date for money to cover the bill.

Don’t Be A Detective

While you should ask questions and display genuine interest in the other person, you should craft your questions in such a way as to not make them feel like they are being interrogated.

It is common for people on a date to ask too many of the wrong kind of questions by digging around in areas that are none of their business.

So tread with caution with your questions, else you’ll scare them off.

Chemistry in relationships is not something that just happens. Plus you probably can’t create chemistry where none exists, but if that initial spark is there, there’s plenty you can do to fan the flames.

Understanding Love Chemistry

If you’ve never felt strong chemistry with another person, it can be hard to get an idea of what it is.

What most people call chemistry is a sense that the two of you are just meant to be together. You’re both perfectly at ease with each other and have a strong physical attraction for each other.

While it might have something to do with looks and pheromones, most of it is mental. It comes from you and your love partner having similar beliefs, thought patterns, ideals, and maybe even habits and pet peeves.

Developing Rapport

Before you can build up any chemistry, you need to have a good rapport first. If you’ve only seen each other for one or two dates, that rapport may not quite be there yet.

To create it, look for a conversation topic you can really bond over. Just make sure it’s something pleasant and low-stress, though.

You might discover that you both love discussing ways to end the global financial crisis, but that subject won’t help your partner associate you with pleasure and fun.

Start Laughing

Laughter is not only fun, it also makes us feel at ease with another person. You don’t have to be a professional comedian. Even an attempt at humor in your own style can work. Just keep it clean and neutral so you don’t offend your date in the beginning.

How Adrenaline Helps

Studies have shown that couples who met in an exciting situation (whether pleasurable or not) tend to find each other more attractive, more so than couples who met under normal circumstances.

This is because the mind associates excitement with the person we’re with at the time, and mistakes it for physical attraction.

Make use of this by planning a date that will get the adrenaline pumping like a scary movie, a rollercoaster ride, or even whitewater rafting.

Drop The Masks

There is no chemistry in love relationships with people who don’t know who you realy are – The Real You.

Instead of keeping your opinions to yourself in hopes of hiding anything your partner might not like about you, why not share your thoughts and feelings about important issues. Sometimes just a single comment can make your date fall-hard for you.

However, just because not revealing who you really are is dishonesty by omission, you should still play your cards right by not revealing too much too soon (Telling All).

Chemistry in relationships could be mysterious and hard to control, but that doesn’t mean you can’t help it along a little. Make sure you start with a good rapport, throw in a little humor and excitement and you’ll be off to a good start.

Finally, you should remember that you can’t make a silk handkerchief out of a pigs ear. So don’t go bending yourself into a pretzel if it’s not working out.

Unless you have hooked up from an adult sex dating website, it is probably not a good idea to kiss at the end of a first date.

First date kissing mostly involves light pecking. Don’t be pressured, and only allow these kisses once you feel comfortable enough with your date.

What Is The Right Time To Kiss?

The right time for kissing is usually during the most romantic moments of the date. When you feel that you’re close enough to your date while having fun, this could be the right time to kiss.

If you’re talking while having a quiet walk at the beach, and you notice that he’s looking directly at your eyes, this is usually another one of those right kissing moments.

Sharing moments are usually the best times to kiss on a date, especially if you’re talking about something personal.

The situation doesn’t need to be dramatic and serious to kiss. The right moment to kiss during these sharing moments is when you feel comfortable sharing your personal experiences and perceptions with your date.

At the end of the date, you can give him a light peck at the cheeks if you had fun with him on your first date after he has taken you home safe and sound.

If you had fun again on the second date, you might like to give him a friendly kiss on the lips again. Beyond this, all you need is a fertile imagination when it comes to the kissing on your succeeding dates.

What To Put In, and What To Leave Out

Not sure how to write an Online dating profile? Are you aware of what you should write about and what is worth leaving out?

The first question that you need to ask yourself is this: What is the purpose of your Online dating profile?

Because your profile for one of these sites can be challenging, the foremost important concept is to be clear about why you are writing a dating profile in the first place.

Why?

• Are you writing a dating profile for fun and friendship?
• Are you looking for just potential dates for casual sex?
• Or are you looking for romance and marriage?

This is important because if you do not state your wants and needs, how can you expect to get what you want?

The reason why you are creating an online profile in the first place is the first detail that should determine how you write your profile.

Don’t Spill Your Guts

Next, you should hold back the need to pour your heart out into the profile.

Telling-All is a sign of low self-esteem so don’t spill your guts or reveal your emotional deformities in the profile. Telling-All in your profile will position you as a victim and will increase your chances of attracting predators. This applies to both men and women.

Captivate Them Instead

To get people to be captivated by you, you should be frank, honest and upfront. Don’t include a lot of irrelevant details, but do make a point to talk about yourself in enough detail so that like-minded people will be intrigued and want to know more.

Your Unique Selling Proposition – USP

Writing a good profile begins with taking an inventory of what makes you unique and interesting. Everyone is one of a kind, but it is hard to show people what makes you one of a kind unless you can create a profile that shows why.

Brainstorming Questions

• What makes you unique?
• What makes you tick?
• Why are you different from everyone else on the internet?
• Why are you different from everyone else in the world?

Depending on the type of Online Dating site, you could describe what you find is important, like your ambitions, your dreams, your desires and your attitudes.

You could write about your most important likes and dislikes, turn ons and turnoffs, and any other details you can think of in order to give an accurate picture of who you are and what you’re about.

Obviously, if you are writing an adult dating profile for discreet encounters or casual sex, you will have to think of a different USP, but I’m sure you get the idea.

Been getting your love relationship advice from magazines or from your dysfunctional work-mates?

Well, there’s your problem right there.

Magazines, dysfunctional or emmotionaly unstable friends/relatives, daytime TV shows and movies may offer plenty of tips on getting laid, but rarely give you anything you can use to build a strong, long-term relationship.

For a change, here are some tips you can actually use.

Communicate Deeper

Ever hear people say they and their spouse lead separate lives and wonder how a marriage ends up that way? Most often is starts with a lack of deep communication.

Real relationship-sustaining communication does not mean talking about that new customer you sold today, or planning for the yearly vacation.

It means talking about your feelings from day to day, your hopes for the future, and even your fears.

Keeping a relationship going strong takes trust, good communication, and attention to the things that really matter.

This means:

• Revealing your real self by dropping the ficticious self/s you have created in order to cope in the world.
• Listening to your partner with your heart by understanding that most people cannot define into words what they are truly trying to express.

Don’t get sucked-in by magazine headlines because the best love relationship advice isn’t all about when to send roses, what to do in bed or anticipating needs.

Trust Building

A lot of love relationship advice focuses on trust because it truly is the foundation of a loving relationship. While trust sometimes develops on its own, putting a little work into building it never hurts. How can you do that?

Firstly, be reliable. Call when you say you will and show up when you promise to. Also try not to make commitments you have no intention of keeping, like “Yea, I’ll go to dancing lessons with you.”

When you have a disagreement:

• Be fair and don’t push your partners buttons.
• Accept and respect your partner’s feelings.
• Avoid telling them they shouldn’t feel a certain way.

Nobody has the right to tell others how they should feel.

Learning To End Arguments

It will happen ..

Your partner will do that annoying thing yet again and suddenly you’re yelling at each other. The important thing isn’t so much stopping your partner from doing that thing as knowing how to stop an argument when it does happen.

In fact, the ability to diffuse post-argument tension can make or break a relationship.

So, when you realize your gripe session is getting out of hand, ask yourself:

• Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?

Of course you might need to re-evaluate the status of the relationship if your partner is continually violating important personal boundaries that you have set. After all, nobody likes to be ignored!

Don’t Avoid Money Issues

This uncommon love relationship advice is important.

If you share any financial responsibilities, you owe it to each other to communicate on this issue. Sure, it’s not much fun to talk about money, but it’s even less fun when you’re in serious trouble due to poor planning. Don’t let it get that far.

Even if there is only one bread winner, both of you should be involved in financial planning, especially if the bread winner is hopeless with money.

To keep problems at bay, learn to discuss your financial issues as they come up. Don’t be frightned to speak up. Not saying what you want to say could lead to resentment towards your partner.

Are You Really In Love?

Are you having difficulty identifying what you are feeling?

While quizzes can provide a guide for you to follow, you’ll have to learn to trust yourself instead of relying on something outside of yourself to tell you what you are truly feeling.

Taking one of those short tests in a magazine will probably just make you more confused than you were before. If you really want to take a quiz, use the results only as a guide and don’t allow others to define your reality.

What the Quiz Can Tell You

Most of the time, it’s hard to go wrong with trusting your gut instincts.

For instance, if your intuitive process is red-flagging your brain, it’s nearly always a good idea to get out of the situation instead of negotiating with reality.

How often have you looked back at one of those red flags that you’ve ignored in the past and said to yourself: “why didn’t I listen to that?”

This is because both love and infatuation are such powerful emotions they cloud your ability to tell which is which. Sometimes, you just can’t trust your instincts to lead you to a good relationship if you have a history of attracting bad relationships.

By asking questions that help separate feelings that could lead to deep, long-lasting love from those that will disappear, “are you really in love” quizzes could keep you from wasting energy on mere infatuation or lust.

Even more importantly, they then help you from getting sucked into what could be a very unpleasant, messy romantic entanglement.

What the Quiz Should Ask You

If you actually want to get some real benefits from taking one of the “are you really in love” quizzes, you need to know how to sort the accurate ones from the useless ones.

Usually, just glancing through the questions will give you a good idea of how accurate the quiz will be. This is usually easy enough to tell by glancing at the questions.

It should also include questions that help you separate initial infatuation that could bloom into a deeper, true love from feelings that aren’t likely to lead to anything serious.

The test should ask how your love makes you feel about yourself, what emotions characterize your relationship, and how much you sacrifice for your partner. Questions like these zero in on common differences between love, infatuation, and lust.

Where to Find Quality Quizzes

Magazines really aren’t the best places to find quizzes.

The problem is, unless the writer’s bio is included, you can’t be sure the person who created the quiz is a true expert on relationships or not. That’s why it’s better to look for quizzes in books and Web sites written by credible relationship experts.

Taking a few well designed quizzes could give you insight into whether or not your relationship has any real future. Finding out early on if your relationship is on the wrong track can save you a lot of stress and heartache in the long run.

Hot Tip

If you are having difficulty identifying what you are feeling, maybe the first thing you should do is see if any of these patterns apply to you before taking an “are you really in love” quiz.

Did you know that computer dating services have been in business for decades, even before the Internet came along?

Years ago, these e-matchmakers used profiles compiled in a dating company’s offices. Some included extra features liked video tape messages and interviews that were shared with interested singles.

Looking back, these computer dating services were considered cutting edge technology. Imagine what it seemed like way back before the Internet ..

• You filled out a questionnaire,
• The answers were fed into a computer,
• The computer churned away and finally, after much computing time ..
• Produces a list of best-match potential singles.

It All Seemed Mysterious and Technical

In fact, most of those computer dating services more than likely used a very simple matching formula. The computer behind the matching was the hook that brought paying customers through the door.

These days, with the average person being exposed to so much more technology, with computers in basically every single household and high-speed internet connections being the norm, these old-style dating services seem antiquated by modern standards.

So what happened to the old computer dating service?

Well, today they’ve become the modern Online dating services. These are now the well known, and not so well known Online sites you’ve seen advertised around the Internet and on TV.

On the surface, these new style computer dating services mirror the old style services, except instead of reporting to the company’s offices for a matching session, you can enter your information from the comfort of your own home.

Beyond the basics of how computer dating services work, the matching process has also become more sophisticated.

While years ago a simple matching process was sufficient, these days customers expect a superior level of matching, ensuring that the people they are matched with are much more compatible than those they would normally meeting in the offline dating world.

While a real world relationship could start with an introduction from friends, followed up with a series of phone calls until the two people involved are comfortable with one another.

Whereas, the Online dating world starts with an electronic introduction between two singles and then, most often, a series of emails form the start of the relationship.

Many of today’s singles are too young to remember the old style computer dating services, but they’re certainly very familiar with the matchmaking services available online.

Today you can expect a very good level of sophistication when the modern systems are matching your profile, however, tread with caution because Online dating is definetly not the same as an introduction from friends.